Reciprocity

The Lark has been making lots of progress when it comes to reciprocal interaction. This is really encouraging, and it just feels so good when it happens. The other day he asked to play a game we used to play years ago but haven't done in a long time--make a "Marco sandwich." He lies down and we pretend to add ingredients, one by one, tickling him with each addition. He helps me think of things--salami, pepperoni, mustard, pickles. Sometimes we add silly ingredients--bugs and worms. Then we pile on pillows or beanbags, pretending that's the bread. Then I jump on top of him and tickle him. Well, he requested this game, so we made a Marco sandwich. When we were done, I said, "what should we make now?" And he said, "a Mowbow sandwich!" Interestingly, once I lay down and waited for him to start, he realized he didn't know how to perform the other role. I could just see him suddenly stop and get confused. So I helped him a bit. But the important thing was that the impulse to reciprocate was there.

On Friday, two other new things happened. At one point, during a break, I tickled the Lark, and he quite spontaneously tickled me back. So I tickled him again, and he tickled me back again and smiled at me. We went back and forth this way a couple of times before it sort of petered out. This was really exciting. Then later we were at a coffee shop having a treat. We were sitting side by side on a divan. The Lark has his arm around my waist (he's very cuddly in general). He gave me three little squeezes in a row. I smiled at him. He looked at me expectantly. So I gave his arm three little squeezes in a row. Then he squeezed my waist four times. So I squeezed his arm four times. Then he did another little pattern for me to follow, and so on. This seems like such a little thing, but it's actually such a big deal. The Lark has been able to follow patterns easily for a long time, but the fact that he came up with the idea to initiate a little game, the whole object of which was to be reciprocal, was so nice. And the fact that he knew how to indicate, but doing something and then looking expectantly, that he was starting a game and he wanted me to know it, shows so much growth in his understanding of intersubjectivity.